I do not want to write today. I don’t actually want to do much, given the fact that I have spent the entire day wiping clean my computer and reinstalling everything and that is quite late. I am sick of screens at the moment. Yet here I am. I am not going to write much, but I will write. Because if I do not, everything crumbles.

I know that if I let myself go soft today, it can set a precedent. Suddenly every day will have a new reason why I should not write. And that is how I lose. Same with my Anki reviews. Given my computer was a constant loading screen for the better part of the day, I did not have time to do my reviews. But I am going to do them, after writing this. Even if it is very late and I should be already asleep.

I’m showing up, just as I said I would. And it will not be my best work. But it is there. The only way to build up skill in anything, and specially in things like writing, is to keep at it, even when you don’t want to, even when it seems hopeless, even when you can see no improvement and months and months pass. The only way to get better at anything is to be constant.

So here I am.

And here I go.