As always, exam periods always have that weird rabbit hole I get into to escape from study and expectations, and this time it was personal blogs. There is quite the community, especially on neocities, droning on about how the internet is shit and how amazing it would be to bring back the old web, with the wacky personal sites.

Now, while I have been raised with the Internet at hand, I never was one for aimless browsing (at least not as a kid). Or at least I do not remember. In fact, I cannot recall most of my experiences with internet as a kid. It was just there, I guess. I used it for things. YouTube, Pinterest and the advent of personalized recommendations came before I could explore much, and from there it was an easy drive into the despair that most social media now produce.

The internet right now is shit, that I completely agree with. The walled gardens, the polarization of opinions, the surveillance and the invasive ads… It is a very pretty, nicely designed and completely impersonal machine to steal your money, and if it can, your personality too. I see it on my friends and family, how they slowly get consumed by different things, be it instagram, tiktok or netflix. Now they strive to be the exact same as everyone else, doing the same dances, taking the same pictures and writing the same things as the people they follow. It is a bit sad.

I hope this trend does not continue, but given the state of things I would not be surprised if it did. That does not mean I have to be a part of it, however, and that is one of the reasons I decided to quit social media and get this place up and running. I keep trying to make my friends understand that these platforms are not very healthy, but with limited success. Maybe they are long lost, or maybe I do not convey the message clearly enough (most possibly the second).

This rabbit hole of personal sites I have been exploring these last few days has given me a nice perspective on what an alternative could be. Sure, I do not remember that “old web” everyone is so nostalgic about, but I can perfectly see the appeal of it. A personal website, “hand-crafted” with effort and dedication, made by a person to convey their self over the internet to whoever might be at the other end, feels authentic in a way that social media profiles do not.

This is, however, not for everyone. I struggle to imagine some of my friends writing posts in a blog, let alone building one themselves with code. I hope, however, that the example of the few that are able to do it, given enough visibility and word-of-mouth propagation, can make people think about what social media and personalized content is doing to them. Maybe seeing people that reject the current model of digital interaction in favor of a more authentic approach can push them to do the same, or at the very least, inspire some change into the way social media run. And who knows, maybe in the future everyone will have their own personal page. Or maybe they won’t.

The thing is, I did not make this page to show myself through the internet. That was never the intention, and it remains mostly a secret, especially for the people I am closest with. This was a place for expressing myself, a drain of sorts for the influx of things that happen in the everyday. A journal first and foremost. A sketchbook of words, a canvas for the ideas that run wild and cause havoc in my life until I can tie them down. A bucket in which to drop everything that makes me feel something.

And yet, this small collection of text define me pretty clearly. My thoughts, hopes, troubles, dreams, goals, motivations, hardships… Everything is here, albeit in a rather abstract form. So I think maybe I will start sharing it. I does need a small renovation to fit its new role as the way I present myself over the internet, but all in all, I think it can do a pretty good job. And who knows, maybe I will join one of those cool webrings, or even give the URL when someone asks me for my instagram or twitter account (would be worth it just to see the look on their faces). It does sound nice when I think about it.

PS: I know, the title is very unimaginative. No need to be rude about it tho